With the holidays near, veterans and advocates say emotions can run high, and having mental health support can make a real difference.
WEST, Texas — For many families, the holidays are a season of joy, tradition and togetherness. But for some veterans and the people who love them, this time of year can reopen wounds that never fully healed.
Mental health advocates say the holidays often intensify feelings of grief, isolation and trauma tied to military service — especially during the winter months, when memories of deployment and loss resurface.
Barbara Zimmerman knows that struggle all too well.
Zimmerman lost her son last year after he served five tours in Iraq. She said he lived with severe post-traumatic stress disorder and never fully returned home emotionally.
“We lost our son last year. He did five tours to Iraq. He had bad PTSD … and he never really came home,” Zimmerman said.
The pain has only compounded with time. Last year marked the family’s first holiday season without their son. This year, they are also mourning the loss of Zimmerman’s father-in-law, a retired Navy master chief.
“Last year was really, really rough,” she said. “This year we thought it would get better, but we lost my husband’s dad too. So the holidays are hard — it just feels like a never-ending cycle.”
Mental health experts say experiences like Zimmerman’s are common among veterans and military families, particularly during the holidays, when expectations of happiness can clash with unresolved trauma and loss.
VFW Post Commander Kory Grant, an Air Force veteran, said the season often reminds service members of time spent away from loved ones.
“The holidays bring about many emotions,” Grant said. “Sometimes we deploy or we’re away from families at this time. And then when we reintegrate back into our families, especially during the holidays, we start thinking about the times we missed.”
Grant said that is why community organizations like the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the American Legion and groups such as the Permian Warrior Partnership play a vital role.
“These spaces give veterans something familiar,” he said. “Sometimes I just want to sit and talk about things — and the person listening gets it. Sometimes everybody doesn’t get us.”
The Permian Warrior Partnership works to connect veterans with local resources before crises occur, focusing on building a veteran-based support network.
“We connect veterans with local resources to prevent crises before they happen,” said Sheena Green, the organization’s executive director. “Unfortunately, during the holidays we see more isolation and anxiety among veterans.”
For many veterans, advocates say, support is not just about services — it is about belonging.
“When we exit the military, that’s all we know,” Grant said. “Getting into a place where you’re accepted and not judged opens the door to realizing people still care. Just because we’re not wearing the uniform anymore doesn’t mean we don’t still serve.”
Zimmerman said healing looks different for everyone and takes time.
“One day at a time,” she said. “Nobody can rush us through our grief. Everybody grieves differently. If you need help, reach out to your local American Legion or VFW. If you just need an ear, they’re there.”
As the holidays approach, advocates say the message for veterans and their families is simple: they are not forgotten, and they are not alone. Sometimes, they say, the most powerful support begins with listening.